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All's Fare

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All's Fare is the seventh episode of the sixth season on Wings, and the 103rd episode overall in the series.

Synopsis[]

Brian prepares to leave the airport for the night, but is stopped by Helen who begins to flirt with him. As Helen passionately kisses Brian, Lowell and Fay dressed as a doctor and nurse suddenly enter with a clown on a gurney. Helen and Brian continue to kiss, but Brian is unnerved. Helen suggests that a little music might help and suddenly Roy and Antonio appear dressed in tuxedos playing twin white grand pianos in the middle of the airport while Casey sings "Call Me Irresponsible" on top of the pianos. Helen then pushs Brian behind the lunch counter and leaps on top of him. Now in Joe's office, Brian is clearly dreaming as Joe and Helen watch him sleep, debating whether or not they should wake him.

In the terminal, Lowell enters dressed neatly in a light tan suit. Fay compliments his attire and Lowell explains that when he went to the hardware store after church, he noticed people treated him better. Believing that a suit commands respect, Lowell now plans to wear a suit to work. Roy then storms over to the Sandpiper ticket counter and demands Lowell hose down plane two because a pack of cub scouts just threw up in it. At the lunch counter, Casey reads over a catalog night class. Tired of sitting at home being bitter about Stuart, she has decide to enroll in a class but can't decide between "Lesbian Studies" or "How to Render a Man Helpless With Your Thumb". Clearly upset, Antonio walks up to the Aeromass ticket counter and tells Roy the IRS is charging him $15,000 of back taxes. Antonio ask Roy for a loan, but Roy flatly refuses. Antonio continues to complain that he just said up enough to take Casey out for a fancy dinner. Amused by the thought of Antonio being able to saying anything to Casey, Roy offers to pay for their if Antonio can ask her and calls Casey over. Casey walks over but Antonio can only roar. Meanwhile, Joe enters his office to find Brian still asleep and grabs a permanent mark. Before Joe can start to draw a mustache, Brian awakens. Brian shares his dream with Joe, who becomes irrationally jealous of Brian's sexual fantasy with Helen.

Back in the terminal, Gavin Rutledge, a well-dressed man, asks Fay if she knows where he can rent a car for the week. While Fay hits on Gavin, Antonio overhears and offers his services. After some haggling, Gavin accepts. As Antonio helps him out to his cab, Gavin sees Casey and is struck by her beauty. Despite Antonio's discouragement, Gavin introduces himself to Casey. Although Casey is initially standoffish due to her recent separation, Gavin wins her over and she agrees to have dinner with him much to Antonio's chagrin. Gavin stays to talk with Casey as Antonio takes his bag to the cab. On his way out, Antonio tells Lowell (in a grease covered suit) that his life is a disaster and Lowell suggests he get a suit.

The next day, Joe enters the terminal and sees Brian sitting at the lunch counter staring in Helen's general direction. Joe confronts Brian, but Helen is flattered by Brian's dream. Fay then shares her own fantasy about Joe and Brian giving her a raise. Antonio enters with lilies for Casey from Gavin. Casey enters moments later and is shocked by how thoughtful Gavin is (even though Antonio was the one who remembered she likes lilies). Helen is also impressed and Antonio tells Casey Gavit will be picking her up for a second date that evening.

After their second date, Casey and Gavin are in Antonio's cab as he drives Casey home. Antonio keeps trying to prevent them from kissing and Casey is not prepared to go back to Gavin's hotel room for the night. After walking Casey to her door and kissing her, Gavin gets back into Antonio's cab and calls his wife to ask about the kids.

The next day, Joe enters his office to brag to Brian that he also had a sex dream, and it was about Brian's new girlfriend Kirsten. As Joe describe the dream, Helen walks up behind and is annoyed to her him fantasize about another woman. Helen storms off and Antonio enters desperate for advice, but Joe goes after Helen and Brian goes after Joe. Antonio then sees Lowell in the hanger and ask for advice. Lowell's suit is now significantly stained and damaged, and his ties his stuck in the plane's engine. After cutting his tie to set himself free, Lowell listens to Antonio's feasibly veiled story about his "friend's" dilema. Although he has several guesses, Lowell is unable deduce that Antonio is the one with the dilema. Lowell then surmises that Antonio's "friend" has no self-respect and should get himself a suit.

Later that night, Antonio is driving Gavin and Casey home after their third date. Casey says she ready to go back to Gavin's hotel, but before they get out of the cab, Antonio blurts out that Gavin is married. Furious, Casey breaks up with Gavin, and, also furious, Gavin fires Antonio without paying him. Antonio tries to cheer up Casey as her drives her home, but Casey decides that she started dating too soon. To cover some of what Antonio owns to the IRS, Casey gives him the diamond tennis bracelet Gavin had given to hera and Antonio reluctantly accepts.

As the credits roll, Brian has another dream of Roy and Antonio playing twin white grand pianos, but with Lowell singing "Call Me Irresponsible" instead of Casey. When Brian awakens in Joe's office, he has a mustache drawn on his face and Joe can been seen out the window brandishing a permanent mark.

Credits[]

Main Cast[]

Guest Cast[]

Quotes[]

  • Helen Chapel - "Hey, what are you reading?"
    Casey Davenport - "It's a catalog of night classes. I'm tired of being so angry about Stuart leaving me. I figure there's got to be more to life than just sitting around being bitter about men."
    Helen Chapel - "Good for you. What classes are you thinking about taking?"
    Casey Davenport - "Well, I have it narrowed down here to Lesbian Studies or How to Render a Man Helpless With Your Thumb."
    Helen Chapel - "Oh, look at that. There's both taught by the same instructor."
  • Joe Hackett - "No. It was more than a dream. Obviously you have sexual feelings towards Helen. How could you do this to me?!"
    Brian Hackett - "Look, I'm really sorry I brought the whole thing up. Listen, I was out late last night and I'd like to get a little more sleep."
    Joe Hackett - "Oh, no! You're not going to sleep. You stay away from her."
  • Fay Cochran - "While we're on the subject of fantasies, I've had one that involves two people here."
    Helen Chapel - "Really, who?"
    Fay Cochran - "Well, actually it was Joe and Brian."
    Brian Hackett - "No. You had a fantasy about us?"
    Fay Cochran - "Yes. It was totally wild and unbelievable...You gave me a raise."
  • Casey Davenport - "Gavin is just like Stuart. Except he's charming, he has a sense of humor, and I don't have to carry him when the sand on the beach gets too hot."

Trivia[]

  • The title of this episode is a play on the old adage "all's fair in love and war", but with "fair" traded with its homonym "fare", as in the price a passenger on would pay for a cab ride.
  • Casey reveals that she loves lilies.
  • This episode is currently unavailable for streaming in the United States likely due to the music rights for "Call Me Irresponsible", which was sung by Casey (and later by Lowell) in Brian's dreams.

Gallery[]

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