Local Residents

The People of Nantucket

Our little island get-away of Nantucket features quite an interesting assortment of residents who call this stretch of sand home throughout the year. Below is a directory of local residents you may encounter as you travel through our streets!

A

• Rivka Aaronson - Retired woman living at the Sons of Abraham Retirement Home and a possible candidate for Brian's mysterious "R." letter writer (Ms. Write).
• Fred Adkins - Former charter pilot who saw a U.F.O. and now sells used bubble gum (Plane Nine from Nantucket).
• Aeromass Gal
• Alice - One of the contractors Joe and Helen interviewed to build their house. She was very aggressive (What About Larry?).
• Alicia - She and her husband were Joe and Helen's new neighbors at their beachfront home. Although they tried to kind introduce themselves, Helen slammed the door in the face because of the experience with the last neighbors (...Like A Neighbor Scorned).
• William Allison - Regular customer at Helen's lunch counter that gave her tickets to Rent in Escape From New York.
• Angela - Dishwasher at Pontrelli's (Looking for Love in the All the Wrong Places).
• Henry Applegate
• Audrey - Leggy redhead that Joe went out with (Exclusively Yours).
• Austin - One of Dylan's frat bro friends (The Gift of Life).

B

• Mrs. Babcock - Old widow neighbor of Fay Cochran. She seemingly died in late summer 1996 (...Like A Neighbor Scorned).
• Barbara 242 - Stockbroker who went on a date with Brian. Because she antagonized a biker at a payphone, the biker trapped Brian in the phonebooth and flooded it with a firehose (Four Dates That Will Live in Infamy).
• Barry - Man working at the Nantucket Suicide Hotline (Too Beautiful for You).
• Sam Barta - Helen's crying date (The Key to Alex).
• Mr. Beekman - cheats on his wife, also known as Mr. Smith (Love Means Never Having to Say Geronimo).
• Betty - One of Fay's friends (The Faygitive).
• Don Berkeley - Manager at Henley's Department Store (Dream Girl).
• Betty - Employee at Siasconset Seafood Company (The Gift (Part 1)).
• Roy Biggins
• Courtney Blake
• Carlton Blanchard
• Martha Blankenship - Former winner of the Nantucket Clam Chowder Cook-Off for several years in a row (by cheating and using Old Seabrook Clam Chowder) before moving to Delaware and selling her "recipe" to Roy.
• Budd Bronski
• Mrs. Burton - Mother of Rebecca Burton (Ms. Write).
• Monsieur Busard - Former French teacher at Siasconset High School (A Stand Up Kind of Guy).

C

• Rusty Cavaleri - Possible candidate for Brian's mysterious "R." letter writer (Ms. Write).
• Winston Catlow
• Helen Chapel
• Lucy Chase - Woman dating Gil but who went on date with Brian (and slept with him). In a fit of jealousy Gil punched Joe in the face and broke his nose confusing one Hackett for another. According to Brian, she's not Joe's type (Noses Off).
• Cindy - Woman that Joe went out with (Exclusively Yours).
• Cindy McGrath
• Clete - Attractive water delivery guy who has Helen's Lunch Counter on his route (A Tale of Two Sister Cities).
• Fay Cochran
• Mr. & Mrs. Connelly - Married couple that tried to purchase Joe and Helen's house before them in Grouses, Houses, and Bickering Spouses.
• Susan Connors - Her husband died two weeks before Christmas 1996 making room for Roy to join their caroling group and hit on her (All About Christmas Eve).
• Bob and Sally Crandall - couple who befriends Brian and Alex (Long Distance Lament).
• Buzz Crandall - Dentist, married with two kids, member of the Whale Club (Moonlighting).
• Cynthia - Stylist that works at Nantucket Hair & Nails with Shirley. Both are notorious gamblers (Raging Bull*&@!).

D

• Dana - Woman that Joe went out with (Exclusively Yours).
• Dani
• Danielle - Attractive woman who worked at the tire store mentioned in What About Larry?.
• Oil Drum Dave - Unhaused man that Pencil Patty left Antonio for (Too Beautiful for You).
• Casey Davenport
• Lydia Detmeir
• Dewey - One of Lowell's friend that was also supposed to go with him to the Clint Black concert to look for stuff under the bleachers before Lowell sold the extra tickets to Brian (I Love Brian).
• Diane - Reporter covering the Connelly press conference at Sandpiper Air from The Team Player.
• Dolores - One of Fay's friends (The Faygitive).
• Big Dot - Woman who worked at the gas station. Roy once brought her to Joe and Helen's house to use the hot tub before they officially moved in (Porno for Pyros).
• Doris - Employee at Siasconset Seafood Company (The Gift (Part 1)).
• Dylan - Frat bro who hit on Casey (The Gift of Life).

E

• Edgerton - Reporter covering the Connelly press conference at Sandpiper Air from The Team Player.
• Edna (The Big Faced Girl)
• Elise
• Erica
• Ernie - Another mechanic and baggage handler (Goodbye, Old Friend). According to Antonio, Ernie slept his way through the Gardening Club (including Fay) (Final Approach (Part 1)).
• Matthew Evans

F

• Nancy Ferguson - Girl Joe dated in high school (All in the Family).
• Old Mrs. R. Fimmel - Rich elderly that always had her good eye on Antonio (Driving Mr. DeCarlo). She was also Fay's neighbor (The Lyin' King).
• Teresa Flayhive - Girl that both Brian and Joe fell for in the seventh grade (Two Jerks and a Jill).
• Frank - Rival of George Cochran. Every year, Frank won Nantucket's Christmas Boat Parade and rubbed it in George's face (A Terminal Christmas).
• Fred - One of Roy's friends that wanted a picture of the Slick and Speedy Girl (A Black Eye Affair).
• Fred - One of the contractors Joe and Helen interviewed to build their house. He delusionally believed that he built the Kennedy Compound, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and Taj Mahal (What About Larry?).

G

• Gail
• Giacomo - Antonio's cousin.
• Gil - Man dating Lucy Chase. After she went on date with Brian, he was furious and in a fit of jealousy he punched Joe in the face and broke his nose confusing one Hackett for another (Noses Off).
• Gil Cooper
• Gilda - Woman who Brian dated that stole his CDs by hiding them in her wiglet (One Flew Over the Cooper's Nest).
• Weeb Gilroy
• Gloria - Employee at Siasconset Seafood Company (The Gift (Part 1)).
• Russell Greaney
• Mr. Greely - Band director of Siasconset High School's Marching Mules marching band (My Brother's Back and There's Going to Be Trouble).

H

• Creepy Harold - Employee at Tom Nevers Field working at the fuel dock. He once goosed Fay (Say Uncle, Carlton).
• Donald Hackett
• Brian Hackett
• Helen Hackett
• Joe Hackett
• Rick Harper - Joe's friend who broke his leg in three places while skiing in Vermont and offered his rented condo to Joe and Helen for the Christmas holiday ('Twas the Heist Before Christmas).
• Hendersons - Family with a dog living near Helen and Joe's house (...Like A Neighbor Scorned).

J

• Janine - Nurse working with Dr. Anthony Lasker. She also received a breast reduction from him and she was no shy about showing off (Noses Off).
• Jared - One of Dylan's frat bro friends (The Gift of Life).
• Jeffrey 16 - A server at The Club Car. As part of a video dating service, he had a date with Helen Chapel, but had to work during the date and made Helen help him (Four Dates That Will Live in Infamy).
• Laurie Jenkins - An English teacher that taught Joe, Brian, Casey, and Helen. After her divorce, she returned to Nantucket to teach at Siasconset High School again (Miss Jenkins).
• Jerry - One of the contractors Joe and Helen interviewed to build their house. He was very absent-minded and apparently built a house that collapsed (What About Larry?).
• Jannie Jordan - The girl Joe dated and went to prom with in 1978 (2 Good 2 Be 4 Gotten).
• Jud - One of the teenage boys that blackmailed Joe and Helen with nude photos of them (House of Blues).

K

• Kenny - 9th grader from Miss Jenkins' English class who had a crush of her (Miss Jenkins).

L

• Alex Lambert
• Dr. Anthony Lasker
• Mr. LeBeau - Former French teacher at Siasconset High School (Boys Will Be Girls).
• Les - Former owner of Les's Diner before buying a condo and moving to Miami (Olive or Twist).
• Lester - Man at Helen's Eat-A-Holics meeting who ate his son's entire birthday cake (When a Man Loves a Donut).
• Lisa - Woman that was supposed to go on a date with Lowell, but was stood up by him (Bye-Bye, Bunny).
• Lou

M

• Mac O'Malley
• Marcia - Owner of Marcia's Boutique. Helen claims that no one really talks to her (I've Got A Secret).
• Marcy - Annoying woman Brian went on a date with immediately after breaking up with Alex (Call of the Wild).
• Marsha Peebles
• Marty
• Beevo Mather
• Bunny Mather
• Larry Mather
• Lowell Mather
• Lowell Mather, Jr. - One of child of Lowell and Bunny Mather.
• Trina Mather
• Susie Mather
• Dan Matteo
• Dave McCall
• Peggy McCloskey
• Kenny McElvey
• Melinda McElvey
• Cindy McGrath
• Michael - Courtney Blake's English professor who she was dating. Michael was 45 years old in 1994 (Hey, Nineteen).
• Michelle - Woman that Joe went out with (Exclusively Yours).
• Monica 187 - Ventriloquist who went on a date Joe and brought along (and only communicated through) her dummy named Trixie (Four Dates That Will Live in Infamy).
• Albie Morehead
• Mrs. Morehead - Albie Morehead's mother (Olive or Twist).
• Murphy - Cook at The Club Car that was married to one of the waitresses (The Key to Alex).

N

• Nancy ("Diner Girl") - Waitress working at a local diner that was proposed to on Valentine's Day by Russell Greaney, despite him never having actually spoken with her. Nancy only knew Russell as the creepy guy that would watch her at work all day. Obviously, she flatly rejected his proposal and told him to stay away from her (Fay There, Georgy Girl).
• Mrs. Nash - The lunchroom lady at Siasconset High School who Brian had a crush on (2 Good 2 Be 4 Gotten).
• Scotty Nelson

O

• Scab O'Neal - One of Lowell's friends (The Key to Alex).
• Jack O'Shea - Joe recommends him to Norm and Cliff as the man to see to rent a fishing in The Story of Joe.

P

• Big Pat - Unattractive woman who worked at the bait shop mentioned in What About Larry?.
• Pauline - Woman who dated Roy for approximately a month, but dumped him over the phone right before she was supposed to meet his mother (Heartache Tonight).
• Peggy - Casey's friend in gift wrap at Henley's Department Store that used to clock her in for work (Dream Girl).
• Pencil Patty - Unhoused woman who lives under the bridge. She date Antonio until she left him for Oil Drum Dave (Too Beautiful for You). According to Roy, she had a beard (House of Blues).
• Mrs. Peabody - Standby passenger travelling to Boston to see her grandchildren that got Danny Connelly's seat in The Team Player.
• Phil - Gas station employee that told Joe and Brian about Alex posing for Playboy Magazine in college (I've Got A Secret).
• Phil - Insurance adjuster and friend of Joe. Once, during a Super Bowl party, Joe performed the Heimlich maneuver to rescue Phil from choking. Phil was the insurance adjuster the worked with Joe and Helen after their home was destroyed by fire (She's Gotta Have It).
• Edna Pillit - Fay's rival who threw the Christmas party in 1992 (Happy Holidays).
• Ernest Preen - Local playwright who wrote The Phantom of the Oprah (The Gift (Part 1)).

R

• Ramona - Walter's wife (Another Wedding).
• Skip Riley - In high school, Pam Chase had sex with him in the backseat of his dad's Plymouth, and Helen told everyone about it (Terminal Jealousy).
• Rita
• Rhonda - Woman met Brian while she was shoplifting a pound cake. She was going to go on a date with Brian until she saw how callously he treated Antonio (House of Blues).
• Sgt. Robbins
• Rudy - Plain clothes regular at the airport (There's Always Room for Cello).

S

• Saul - Elderly man from the park that asked out Casey (Heartache Tonight).
• Antonio Scarpacci
• Sherry Scudder - Girl Joe Hackett dated in high school (All in the Family).
• Shannon 325 - A woman who went on a few dates with Lowell (Four Dates That Will Live in Infamy).
• Shirley - Stylist that works at Nantucket Hair & Nails with Cynthia. Both are notorious gamblers (Raging Bull*&@!).
• Karl Spengler
• Ed Snow - Director of The Phantom of the Oprah (The Gift (Part 2)).
• Spencer - One of the teenage boys that blackmailed Joe and Helen with nude photos of them (House of Blues).
• Peggy Springer - Girl that both Brian and Joe fell for in the high school (Two Jerks and a Jill).
• Steve - Patron of the Knight and Castle fond of Lowell Mather (All in the Family).
• Nattie Stewart - Friend of Fay that lived in the same building as Alex. She died in July 1992 (It May Have Happened One Night).
• Martha Stimson - One of Helen's dearest friends though she describes Martha's husband as miserable and her kids as whiny (I've Got A Secret).
• Susie - A 9th grader from Miss Jenkins English class. She was very vocally disappointed with Joe and Brian's presentations (Miss Jenkins).

T

• Big Tammy - Woman who occasionally jogs without a sports-bra (Just Call Me Angel).
• Terri - Facilitator of the Eat-A-Holics meeting (When a Man Loves a Donut).
• Larry Thompson
• Stinky Timmy - One-eyed gas station employee who was interested in Casey (Heartache Tonight).
• Jeanine Tolliver - Local thespian who was replaced by Fay in role of "Oprah Winfrey" in "The Phantom of the Oprah" (The Gift (Part 1)).
• Tom - Member of Lowell's Tuesday Night Rat Club (Two Jerks and a Jill). He was also supposed to go with Lowell to the Clint Black concert to look for stuff under the bleachers before Lowell sold the extra tickets to Brian (I Love Brian).
• Tom - Man who was going to go on a date with Casey until Antonio reminded him that it was too soon to date because he had just ended a six year relationship three months ago (House of Blues).
• Johnny Toshiba
• Trevor - Poetry MC at the campus coffee house on Nantucket (Hey, Nineteen).
• Tuba the Clown - Performer at the train theme children's restaurant and arcade where Roy had his 12th birthday party in Sons and Lovers.
• Tucker - Member of Lowell's Tuesday Night Rat Club (Two Jerks and a Jill). He was also supposed to go with Lowell to the Clint Black concert to look for stuff under the bleachers before Lowell sold the extra tickets to Brian (I Love Brian).

V

• Vera

W

• Engineer Willy - Performer at the train theme children's restaurant and arcade where Roy had his 12th birthday party in Sons and Lovers.
• Al Whimper

Y

• Yanni - Local immigrant, calls his wife Mooshta from overseas to be with him (Duet for Cello and Plane).

Z

• Madame Zola - Psychic that Antonio has a standing Wednesday appointment with to read the bumps on his head (Olive or Twist).