Porno For Pyros is the second episode of a two-part story arc and the first episode of the eighth season of Wings, and the 149th episode overall in the series.
Synopsis[]
While celebrating their move with sex, Joe and Helen accidentally burn down Brian's home to the ground. In shock, Brian has a hard time adjusting to the loss. Suspecting arson and fraud, the insurance company sends Claire Barnett to investigate. However, she closes the case quickly after she and Antonio start a fire while having sex at the Century House.
Credits[]
Main Cast[]
- Tim Daly as Joe Hackett
- Steven Weber as Brian Hackett
- Crystal Bernard as Helen Hackett
- David Schramm as Roy Biggins
- Rebecca Schull as Fay Cochran
- Tony Shalhoub as Antonio Scarpacci
- Amy Yasbeck as Casey Davenport
Guest Cast[]
- Roma Maffia as Claire Barnett
Quotes[]
- Helen Hackett - "Joe burned you house down."
Brian Hackett - "What?!"
Joe Hackett - "It was an accident."
Brian Hackett - "You-you burned my house down?"
Joe Hackett - "I'm so sorry."
Brian Hackett - "Wh...How-how bad is it?"
Joe Hackett - "There's nothing left."
Casey Davenport - "My room, too?"
Helen Hackett - "No, oddly enough, your second story room, supported by no house at all, is still standing."
- Joe Hackett - "How could he just walk out like that? At least when he burned down Helen's house down, I had the decency to scream at him and then throw him out of my life."
- Casey Davenport - "My new lavender shoes?"
Helen Hackett - "Gone."
Casey Davenport - "All my makeup?"
Helen Hackett - "Gone."
Casey Davenport - "My gold locket?"
Helen Hackett - "Was your locket made of asbestos and buried in a fireproof safe underneath the house?"
Casey Davenport - "Of course not."
Helen Hackett - "Gone."
- Brian Hackett - "You burned my house down. I lost everything. How could you possibly know how I feel?!"
Helen Hackett - "Cause last year, you burned my house down and I lost everything."
Brian Hackett - "That's a completely different thing!"
- Antonio Scarpacci - "I bet a woman like that could wear wool without an undershirt."
- Helen Hackett - "Haven't you ever had the kind of hot, sweaty, out-of-control sex that you lose all sense of what is going on around you?"
- Claire Barnett - "So, you expect me to believe that two house burned down because the people inside were lost in the throes of some kind of sexual frenzy?"
Casey Davenport - "It happens."
Claire Barnett - "Not according to our records. I ran the possibility through my computer and the answer came up: "No freaking way, cupcake." I'm sorry. I just don't buy it."
- Helen Hackett - "Two fires in a year in the same family both caused by sex? I know it's the truth and I don't even believe us."