Ready, Teddy, Go is the twelfth episode of the fifth season of Wings, and the 84rd episode overall in the series.
Synopsis[]
Davis comes to the island and brings Helen out and invites Joe, Brian, and Alex to come along. They go back to his hotel room and while he goes to freshen up, Helen goes through his luggage and finds a present which she assumes is for her and sees it's something extremely personal. When he tells her that he has something for her, it's not what she saw. So she wonders if he's seeing someone else.
Credits[]
Main Cast[]
- Tim Daly as Joe Hackett
- Steven Weber as Brian Hackett
- Crystal Bernard as Helen Chapel
- Thomas Haden Church as Lowell Mather
- David Schramm as Roy Biggins
- Rebecca Schull as Fay Cochran
- Tony Shalhoub as Antonio Scarpacci
- Farrah Forke as Alex Lambert
Guest Cast[]
- Jane Galloway as Passenger
- Mark Harelik as Davis Lynch
- Stephen Rowe as Professor Lawson
- Sarah Krasner as Airport Passenger (uncredited)
Quotes[]
- Joe Hackett - "Fay, what is this?"
Fay Cochran - "Oh, that's my rat. I kidnapped her from the psychology lab."
Joe Hackett - "Oookay. Get away clean now, or... ah, what the hell. Go ahead."
Fay Cochran - "My instructor promised that she would only be used for a few harmless experiments. But he lied."
Lowell Mather - "Eh, they always lie. First they suck you in with the free milk and cookies. Next thing you know, you're running naked through a maze."
- Davis Lynch - "Look Joe, I know I'm not exactly your favorite person."
Joe Hackett - "I never said that."
Davis Lynch - "Boy, I would have! I didn't invest in your business, I'm dating your old girlfriend, I'd hate my guts."
Joe Hackett - "Well, maybe we do have something in common."
- Brian Hackett - "Aw, baby, I love this: $17.50 for macadamia nuts."
Joe Hackett - "You know, that's obscene. What kind of sucker would pay that kind of money for junk food?"
Davis Lynch - "Help yourself to anything you want out there!"
Joe Hackett - "Yo Brian, toss me those nuts."
- Helen Chapel - "He brought me a present!"
Alex Lambert - "Helen, you shouldn't open that."
Helen Chapel - "Yes, I'm gonna open it. That way I know how to reciprocate. You know, cover my butt."
[Helen reveals a slinky black negligee]
Joe Hackett - "Well, that's certainly not gonna do it."
- [Helen holds up a slinky black negligee]
Helen Chapel - "Oh, God, I hope this is not for me."
Joe Hackett - "Maybe he bought it for another woman, the bastard."
Brian Hackett - "Maybe it's for him, the bitch."
- Helen Chapel - "When you're dating someone, there is a specific order to gift-giving. First date: flowers, right? Second date: stuffed animal no bigger than this. Fourth date, a little more personal: key chain, perhaps. Sixth date, all right we're getting to know each other. Now you can get a little more intimate: gloves."
Alex Lambert - "She's not serious."
Joe Hackett - "Oh, yes, she is. When we were dating, I screwed up someplace around key chain. I had to go all the way back to flowers."
- Antonio Scarpacci - "I've never really gotten excited from wearing women's lingerie."
Brian Hackett - "Wait a second, Antonio. I think you're getting caught in one of those language things. What you meant to say is that you never really got excited seeing women wearing lingerie."
Antonio Scarpacci - "...Oh, yes, of course."
- Antonio Scarpacci - "Wait, wait, wait, I don't understand. You're mad because he gave you a gift you did not want?"
Helen Chapel - "No, he gave me a perfectly nice gift."
Antonio Scarpacci - "Ah, I see. So you're mad because he did not give you a gift you did want."
Helen Chapel - "No, I'm mad 'cause he didn't give me the teddy."
Antonio Scarpacci - "But I thought you did not want the teddy."
Helen Chapel - "I didn't."
Antonio Scarpacci - "So you didn't get it, so you should be happy. But you're not, you're furious."
Helen Chapel - "Exactly."
Antonio Scarpacci - "I've got to get off of this ride."
- Brian Hackett - "This guy cannot win. First you're mad at him because he wants you to be dirty. Now you're mad at him because he wants you to be clean?"
- Davis Lynch - "I saw it in Paris, and it was so beautiful I wanted you to have it. But then I realized it's too soon for me to give you a gift like that, so I decided to wait."
Helen Chapel - "Really?"
Davis Lynch - "Well, yeah. I mean there's a protocol to gift-giving. I didn't want to rush it."
Helen Chapel - "So, when were you planning on giving it to me?"
Davis Lynch - "I don't know. Probably somewhere around date...10 or 12?"
Helen Chapel - "Right after monogrammed stationery?"
Davis Lynch - "Yeah, but before precious metals."
Trivia[]
- The title of this episode is a play on the phrase "ready, set, go".