Say Uncle, Carlton is the fifteenth episode of the fifth season on Wings, and the 87th episode overall in the series.
Synopsis[]
To help pay for his new used cab, Antonio must take a job being the chauffeur for Carlton Blanchard for a week. Things get even worse when Carlton's equally annoying nephew, Lewis, arrives on Nantucket to attend Carlton's banquet honoring him as Nantucket's Retired Businessman of the Year award.
Credits[]
Main Cast[]
- Tim Daly as Joe Hackett
- Steven Weber as Brian Hackett
- Crystal Bernard as Helen Chapel
- Thomas Haden Church as Lowell Mather
- David Schramm as Roy Biggins
- Rebecca Schull as Fay Cochran
- Tony Shalhoub as Antonio Scarpacci
- Farrah Forke as Alex Lambert
Guest Cast[]
- William Hickey as Carlton Blanchard
- Gilbert Gottfried as Lewis Blanchard
Quotes[]
- Carlton Blanchard - "If you were to carpet Florida, how long would it take to vacuum it?"
Alex Lambert - "Why would anyone want to carpet Florida?"
Carlton Blanchard - "What kind of a stupid question is that?"
- Carlton Blanchard - "If I were to eat Alphabet Soup could they see the little letters in an X-ray?"
Helen Chapel - "If you were to eat Alphabet Soup could they see the little letters by holding you up to a strong light."
- Carlton Blanchard - "Hey, it could be like that movie. You know, with the old lady and the Black fellow. What was that called?"
Antonio Scarpacci - "Driving Miss Daisy."
Carlton Blanchard - "No, no, no. He drove her around town in a big car."
Antonio Scarpacci - "Driving Miss Daisy."
Carlton Blanchard - "No. It was one of those artsy pictures."
Antonio Scarpacci - "Driving Miss Daisy."
Carlton Blanchard - "I think it was set in the south."
Antonio Scarpacci - "Driving Miss Daisy!"
Carlton Blanchard - "That's it."
- Carlton Blanchard - "Here's a question: If they actually sealed someone's lips, would he have to belch through his nose?"
- Carlton Blanchard - "He just keeps going and going. He's like that thing on TV with the drum and the ears."
Antonio Scarpacci - "The Energizer Bunny."
Carlton Blanchard - "No. The commercial."
Fay Cochran - "The Energizer Bunny."
Carlton Blanchard - "No. It's with the drum."
Roy Biggins - "The Energizer Bunny."
Carlton Blanchard - "With the ears."
Antonio Scarpacci, Fay Cochran and Roy Biggins - "The Energizer Bunny!"
Carlton Blanchard - "That's it."
- Lewis Blanchard - "You know when I look at both of you beautiful ladies two words come to mind: Lewis...Sandwich."
- Lewis Blanchard - "You know, I have a camcorder that shoots in the dark."
Helen Chapel - "Yeah, I've got a gun that does the same thing."
- Lewis Blanchard - "Come on, just one date. I'll make it worth your while. What do you want a TV?"
Helen Chapel - "You are offering me a television to go out with you?"
Lewis Blanchard - "Play your cards right and I'll throw in a VCR."
Helen Chapel - "Joe, what do I do here?""
Joe Hackett - "Hold out for a big screen."
- Fay Cochran - "You know what? You ought go to. Helen's just playing hard-to-get. She told me she really like you."
Lewis Blanchard - "Thanks."
Fay Cochran - "That'll teach her."
- Carlton Blanchard - "I was just thinking that this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
Antonio Scarpacci - "Beginning of a beautiful friendship? Isn't that the last line of a famous movie? What was the name of it? Does anybody know?"
Carlton Blanchard - "Casablanca."
Antonio Scarpacci - "No, that wasn't it, was it, Roy?"
Roy Biggins - "Uh, no. No, no, no. It was the one with Bogey."
Carlton Blanchard - "Casablanca."
Antonio Scarpacci - "No, no. Fay, a little help here."
Fay Cochran - "It was the one with Ingrid Bergman in it."
Carlton Blanchard - "Casablanca."
Alex Lambert - "I know this one. I think it took place during War World II."
Carlton Blanchard - "Casablanca."
Helen Chapel - "I think it was the one that has that song "As Time Goes By".
Carlton Blanchard - "Cas-a-blan-ca. Casablanca! I'm getting out of here. You people are driving me crazy."
Lowell Mather - "What the hell was the name of that movie?"
Trivia[]
- Antonio purchases a brand-new used cab. He previously discussed getting a new cab in Joe Blows (Part 1).
- This episode is the third and final appearance of Carlton Blanchard. He previously appeared in Das Plane and The Houseguest.
- To distract Helen, Alex claims to see Mel Gibson. Later to distract Fay, Helen claims to see Hugh Downs.